Sherry my wife and I are celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary if you want to have a meaningful relationship uh here's 10 suggestions to be happily married and uh be able to make it through thick and thin in this episode I am going to uh reveal the secret to being happily married now for 50 years people all over the country ask me this question uh so get ready I'm going to give you 10 suggestions for a happy fulfilling [Music] marriage so I'm Doug Andrew and I've been a financial strategist and a retirement planning specialist now uh for five decades uh I started in the summer of 1974 my wife Sher and I got married in February of 1974 and so uh we are now celebrating our 50th uh wedding anniversary and people ask golly Doug uh give us some secrets on how to be happily married well uh I recently wrote a forward uh for a a book that is being released uh by Leon and Delena Elliot and uh I am mentoring this couple but they are incredible and uh they teach in this book uh the power of Oneness and and uh winning with marriage and uh money and they exemplify a wonderful marriage uh very very well well um in writing the forward I disclosed that um my wife and I you know it's been like heaven on Earth but hey it's not always Rosy okay we've had many many different setbacks uh with our health my wife has technically uh died three times and come back back uh she's had half of her liver removed it didn't regenerate she had a large football siiz cocal cyst meshed between her liver and pancreas uh during uh the the our first uh baby's U pregnancy and uh we nearly lost her uh with miscarriage uh we appreciate good health because uh we haven't had it sometimes but even as a financial strategist uh we've had things totally out of our control people above us uh with the companies we we've been with that for one reason or another they embezzled money or whatever and so temporarily we were without incomes uh we lost a house in foreclosure because of that uh because our incomes were frozen for nine months even though we've had setbacks with our health uh financially emotionally uh we have grown stronger through those bad experiences okay but uh I'm often asked to perform marriage ceremonies and when I do at the end of the ceremony I will gift the couple that I married uh this list that I put together several years ago uh comprising 10 suggestions for a happy fulfilling marriage so I'll go through these 10 and I want you to think about it uh write them down and um if you want to have a meaningful relationship uh here's 10 suggestions that worked for my wife and I to be happily married and uh be able to make it through thick and thin okay number one bear one another's burdens be supportive of one another don't go just halfway as Zig Ziggler used to say marriage isn't a 50/50 proposition it's 100% 100% proposition look for ways to help your mate uh often putting your desires your needs even above theirs suggestion number two be a cheerleader for each other in public and uh in in just close settings with your friends when someone compliments uh your spouse uh don't say oh he's all right or she's all right okay say that's the very reason I felt deeply and heavily in love with him or her in other words brag on your spouse in front of people suggestion number three invest at least five minutes each day thinking positive thoughts about your mate okay writing them down and uh sharing them openly now call each other during the day say hey honey I was just thinking about you and wanted you to know uh how much I love you and appreciate you and I'm so glad you are my best friend very important that you do that um nothing drives me crazier than to hear uh maybe a a bunch of people uh do spouse bashing okay or making fun of their spouse that doesn't do any good number four pay your spouse genuine compliments often expressing positive emotions give little gifts to each other and receive gifts graciously it doesn't matter what I purchase for my wife she is always thrilled she makes me feel like it's the it was the top of her shopping list and even though 48 hours later something shows up in its stead uh she has always been very very gracious to receive the gift she she has never said why did you buy this for you know I don't look good in orange no okay and so uh receive those gifts graciously and your spouse will want to buy you more number five okay uh perform physical gestures of love and endearment daily sometimes just a little flick of the hair or rubbing their neck is a sign of love and affection uh to where you uh are able to um touch and express uh love and affection so that they feel close that you care that you're thinking about them suggestion number six invest time often sharing feelings with each other you know I was so saddened years ago to learn that the average couple um after being married about 5 years in America only spends about 17 minutes a week uh focused on each other talking no wonder the divorce rate is so high invest time uh often sharing your feelings but don't keep score uh that's probably one of the best recommendations I can give I see marriages where um you know one will say well you spent the weekend with your guy friend so I get the same amount of time with my girlfriends and uh you went out and and you spent $1,000 at the mall I get to spend $1,000 at the mall and uh oh my Heavens that would drive me crazy keeping score uh I am thrilled uh when my wife is able to spend time with her friends or with her siblings or sisters or or uh she wants to go out and because she is very very frugal she will sacrifice and so I encourage her I I want her to be able to buy some nice things for herself uh and even though I'm a financial strategist yeah we want to smell the roses as we go even though we save money but you've got to be together and focused on how you're going to manage uh the money but be generous uh don't uh hover over them uh it's really about compatibility and companionship not about you know competition and the contention that results from that suggestion number seven allow time for each other when one or uh both of you come home from work let's say uh be there for them when you know when they're going to arrive and let them know that you're thrilled you're glad glad that they're home okay that you've been looking forward to being with them keep courting each other how do Sher and I do that we have regular date nights uh they're usually Friday but if they get preempted because of a wedding or something we have to go to we make it up we don't just go well uh uh this weekend we can't have a date night I'll have a date night on Saturday or Saturday afternoon or whatever uh also my wife and I try to enjoy lunch together at least two days a week continue to court them okay suggestion number eight be forgiving holding a grudge is one of the major deterrence to a quality marriage don't retire at night um without making amends um I that was the best suggestion I was given when I I got married uh 50 years ago to make sure that you make amends before you go to bed you don't want to go to bed and let things fester and smolder and you're angry and and you go to bed that way always make up before you go to sleep okay now that has been one of the best suggestions I have ever followed number nine give your spouse a chance to improve him or herself okay don't try to change them work on changing yourself and they will change uh so many times uh we are quick to point out the other person's fault and we want to change them um no uh we want to make sure that uh we appreciate them uh it reminds me of a client I had that um was always talking about uh I don't know why my husband comes home and he plops his uh uh feet up on the church and he reads the newspaper and then he kicks his shoes off and then and then he goes to bed and he leaves the shoes cluttering the living room well um he passed away and she came back in about a year later and I said how's life going and she says not good she said you know what I miss the most I would give anything to have his shoes cluttering my living room one more night the very thing she complained about she missed the most when he was gone be careful what you criticize okay and suggestion number 10 grow together spiritually every good marriage has a spiritual Dimension pray together read scriptures or good books together uh Worship in holy sanctuaries uh go to church together what have you nurture your children and each other spiritually uh that's probably one of the biggest game changers uh in our own marriage so hopefully these uh 10 suggestions have helped uh there's many many more but the secret to being happily married now for five decades is remembering that it's not about you it's about them uh it's about uh making sure that you are there for them and you are very concerned about them and you're their cheerleader now if you want to learn more about how to uh cultivate deep meaningful relationships with those you care about your spouse your children your grandchildren I discuss this in many different ways in my book entitlement abolition now you may think entitlement abolition well yeah because I talk about family vacations with a purpose and date nights I talk about a Grandpa's camp and I talk about all of the ways that you can build one another up now this book retails for 20 bucks on Amazon and if you purchase it there plus shipping thank you but I'll gift you a copy free you simply go to entitlement abolition tocom you cont tribute a nominal amount towards the shipping and handling I'll cover the rest of that and I'll pay for the book I'll fire out a hard copy to you via priority mail and when you're in there claiming your free copy of this book uh you can get a book bundle uh which is a bargain which includes also this book the laser fund if you want to know how to cultivate the financial dimension and be one on your finances and then there's also master classes and things in there that you can use to learn and uh there's books that I recommend but uh there's webinars that we teach on a regular basis they're free check those out if you want to meet with a financial advisor that I oversee you can even schedule an appointment to do that but this is not about me this is about you those people that you care about and if you're married uh I want you to be able to have a happy fulfilling uh uh partnership your entire lifetime because it's one of the greatest blessings my wife and I have had and uh we look forward to several more decades together we hope the best for [Music] you
Tax-Free Retirement Planning